How to Be Great! All the Time! for a Longer Time and Still Have a Great! Time

In January of 2018, I enjoyed the funeral of Louis R. “Lewie” Donelson, the hundred-year-old name partner of the huge law firm, Baker Donelson. In 1990, I started practicing as a new lawyer in a large Memphis firm, Burch, Porter & Johnson, watching Lewie, then 73, still going strong in the Shelby County Courthouse. I continued to be impressed by him as he hit his 100th year of life, still practicing law, merely because he loved it.

I continue to be impressed by Lewie’s partner, my dear friend Leo Bearman, Jr., who is now 82. I was pleased to have Leo teach me third-party beneficiaries in my first year contracts class in the fall of 1987 and I was honored to sit in his private office, thirty years later, a few weeks after Lewie’s death, for 15 minutes to reminisce about how Leo and his father, whom he still calls “Daddy” joined Lewie’s firm. At age 82, Leo was still, literally, up to his armpits in the Mississippi v. Memphis Light, Gas & Water lawsuit heading to the United States Supreme Court. It is a huge case, with financial implications ranging into billions of dollars. And, Leo appeared to be relishing every day he gets to spend on it and I have been following the parties’ filings in the Special Master’s Court in the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals as the case moves steadily along toward an evidentiary hearing sometime in 2018.

In February of 2018, I shared the joyous funeral of Leo’s and my mutual friend, Mary Shainberg, along with hundreds of others who were her friends and family in Memphis’s Temple Israel, where Leo, Mary, and I have often prayed and socialized together. Besting Lewie Donelson, Mary was 101, when she passed from this world to her place in the Garden of Eden, and like almost everything else in her life, she immaculately planned and executed her dying, her death, her private funeral with her family, and her public memorial service for her friends. Mary lived a lively and purpose-driven life through her last day. She did it happily despite bits and pieces of adversity that interspersed the majority of her wellness in body, mind, and spirit.

Almost everyone wants to live as long as they can, but they still want to have as much fun as they can while they do it. As we all grow older, we begin to break down, become less lively, and enjoy life much less in our 70s that we did in our 40s. Others, however, blow and go from 70 to 100 having the time of their lives.

Seeing happy and healthy centenarians like Lewie and Mary naturally leads most people to have the question, “How can I do that?” A recent TIME magazine article (February 26,2018 edition) explains a lot about how we all can do it, most of which I saw in action through Lewie and Mary.

1. How a positive attitude about aging. People who carried a gene variant linked to dementia, but also had a positive attitude about aging, were 50% less likely to develop the disease.
2. Work hard and play hard.
3. Move to the big city. Big cities have strong health systems, opportunities for continued learning, widespread public transportation, and abundant arts and cultural events. Nothing like all this stuff to fight loneliness, boredom, and a sedentary life; all of which leads to a bad case of the “dwindles,” a condition in which one’s body, mind, and spirit just fritters away.
4. Create, build, and maintain as many strong friendships as you can.
5. Develop a passion for things rather than anger about other things; be engaged rather than indifferent.
6. Shake your body, shake your body for you! Increasing physical activity improves endurance, muscle strength, and balance; reduces falls; and lifts your spirits. You don’t have to be an octogenarian marathoner. I just walked a 91-year-old woman from the hospital (where I had recently admitted my 79-year-old mother for a week for blood clots in her legs) to her car while she explained to be still walked a mile per day. When she was 87, she walked four miles in an hour; now, as her rheumatoid arthritis is ravaging her bones, she is determined to never drop below a mile and never drop before an hour a day. And she looked great to me; not a day over the average 80-year-old great-grandmother.
7. Eat. Never skip breakfast and make it a meaningful meal. Enjoy any food you want anytime you want it, but only in moderation.
8. Drink. The healthful benefits of reasonable alcohol consumption are not a reason to start drinking if you don’t already imbibe, but they are good reasons to continue to enjoy moderation in this and most other vices, except smoking.
9. Be merry. Happy people outlive persistent scowlers time and time again.
10. Maintain a healthy sex life. My Daddy often said in his seventies, “I’m not always as good as I once way, but I’m as good once as I always was.” Frequency need not be your goal, nor should a big finish and sticking the landing every time. The real things people should care about, regardless of their age, begin with enjoying intimacy with a partner and focusing on mutually pleasing each other.

These are just a few suggestions for meaningfully optimizing your life to make it as long as possible. What suggestions do you have based on your experience so far and hopes to enjoy in the your distant future?