Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and their phone beeps, chirps, or plays a musical notification that tells them something is happening in their social media sphere? And they just have to stop, in mid-thought with you, and check it out. Has that ever happened with you?
Yeah, me too. People used to hate it when I did that. So I’ve tried not to do it as much. Almost never now. I solved the problem by setting alone time appointments during which I focus on my social media presence and activity. It’s part of my business work to pay attention to my social media relationships.
Whether we as parents, spouses, or friends like it or not, social media is everywhere. And almost all of us seem to hate it – whenever anyone else is doing it that is. But did you know, properly used, social media can actually help your relationships. With your spouse, your parents, your kids, your other family and close friends, your business relationships, and all the other folks you include in your life’s precious resource of people.
How? By communicating positive and affirming things with and about those with whom we have relationships and for whom and to whom our values make us responsible. The concept is called “public commitment theory.”
Sociology researchers posit people who post positive and affirming things together or about each other are more likely to have better relationships with those they post with or about.
Apparently, publicly testifying about each other as a couple or the other as an individual does several things:
- It makes the couple’s relationship a larger part of their individual identities.
- It reinforces the couple’s aspiration for how they want their relationship to be.
- It drives the couple to become what they have publicly aspired to be.
Working on doing such public testimony together has an even greater effect on your mutual relationship. Investing the resources of self, time, effort, energy, emotion, intellect, property, and people in taking and posting positive and affirming pictures of people shows your “other” is on your mind. Telling positive and affirming stories online about yourselves and each other all shows how much your relationship means to the both of you.
Showing your bond with another to the entire world of third parties “out there” shows you are proud of your relationship, you are making it a priority in your life, and you want the rest of the world to share your relationship. Saying nice things about the other person in your relationship to the other person is nice. Saying nice things about the other person and your relationship to the rest of the world is even nicer.
Properly used, social media can help your most personal relationships.
[reminder]When was the last time you posted something nice about someone else online?[/reminder]